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Section:  Avodah   Category: Innocent Observations
Life Is Like A Bowl Of Krias Yam Suf

Everybody has a good Sheva Brachos vort for the famous Chazal, Kashin Zivugun Shel Adam K'Krias Yam Suf, matchmaking is as difficult as splitting the sea (Sotah 2). There is another famous Chazal in that vain, Kashin Mizonosav Shel Adam K'Krias Yam Suf. The obvious question is what is the relationship between Krias Yam Suf and Shidduchim or earning a living. The latter seem quite natural and happens to almost everyone daily, while Krias Yam Suf was a rare historic event totally defying the laws of nature. Also why don't we ever see a direct comparison between Parnassa and Shiduchim, only each one with Krias Yam Suf.

Many answers take the approach that the difficulty with all these areas is from Hashem's point of view. Now of course nothing is difficult for Hashem, but Hashem made certain rules that make these things more challenging to implement easily. But if you look at it from our point of view it all seems pretty clear.  If we were the one's to ensure our own parnassa or finding our own zivug it would be an accomplishement akin to splitting the sea. Both these things seem possible to do on our own, but Chazal tell us that we are only fooling ourselves. No brains or connections will bring us to our goal in these areas, any more so than all our engineering prowess will allow us to tam the sea and split it.  Only Hashem can split the sea, only Hashem can help two half neshamos split at birth find each other among the crowd.  This why we compare each of these accomplishments directly to Krias Yam Suf.  We cannot do it ourselves.

Moreover when pursuing our daily bread or shidduchim there is fundamental lesson to be learned from Krias Yam Suf. On one hand Hashem says (Bishlach 14:14) "Hashem Yilachem Lachem V'Atem Tacharishun", leave it to me. On the other hand Hashem says "Mah Titzak Eilai Daber El Bnei Yisroel V'Yisau", why are you standing around screaming, keep moving forward.

Of course we know that Hashem determines each person's parnassa, but it is incumbent on us to actually do something to earn a living rather than stand around with a tehilim. On the other hand we'd be foolish to think that our effort has any direct correlation to the results. Brilliant people can be penniless while dummies can be billionaires. It is not up to us, just like Krias Yam Suf is not doable but we must move forward and not stand still Just like Krias Yam Suf.

Similarly with Shiduchim the gemara tells us (Kidushin 30b) that we must make our daughters attractive and marketable, yet we know it is Hashem who makes all shiduchim and makes two people find favor in each other's eyes. People that have everything going for them remain on the market forever, while less qualified people find their match right away.

The lesson is that whether its Krias Yam Suf, earning a living (Taanis 2b - Mafteiach Shel Parnassa), or finding a match, nothing in this world is in our hands. Yet as the Tanna says (Avos 2:21) "Lo Alecha HaMilacha Ligmor V'Lo Ata Ben Chorin Libatel Mimena", you are not responsible for results, but you need to make an effort and go through the motions. Without both, it just won't work (Niddah 70b). That is the way of the world and you need to play the game, but just like Krias Yam Suf don't be fooled into believing you efforts are the ones bearing the fruit.

RELATED ARTICLES:Krias Yam Suf  parnasa  shiduchim

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Visitor Comments: 1

LH, Brooklyn, 2011-05-25 12:21:59
I was discussing this with my aunt the other day. We were trying to figure out why out of all of the miracles was the splitting of the red sea used with regards to shidduchim. The only thing I can think of so far (as a result of reading your article) is that it says in a commentary (Mechilta) that a simple maidservant perceived a higher degree of prophecy than the prophet Ezekiel in his vision of the Heavenly Chariot. So this is the only miracle that caused this reaction and therfore places this miracle into a separate category. So the next question is why do we need a miracle in this category to be compared to Shidduchim. I'm looking forward to your answer. I understood your article but I'm thinking there must be something deeper to the analogy. And I will forward your article to my aunt and if she comes up with something then I'll let you know. Thanks for the timely article.

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