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Section:  Avodah   Category: Chanoch L'Naar
Shela HaKadosh - Good Children Are Not Raised On One Tefila A Year
Yom Kippur Katan Chodesh Sivan is the big day for davening for our children's hatzlacha according to the Shela HaKadosh.  His famous tefila is readily available as are tzedaka opportunities enabling you to boost the effects of your tefilos with a donation.  But like everything else that we grab onto for dear life, this is the easy part.  The Shela had lots more to say about raising good children other than paying lip service and writing a yearly check and I am sure today's gedolim would agree.  In fact his entire Sefer from which he earned his name the Shela (Shnei Luchos HaBris), was written as a guide to his children when he left home for Eretz Yisroel.  

Here are a few highlight from he writes in Shaar HaOsiyos, Os Dalet - Derech Eretz.

Tefila - Tefila for your children should always be on your lips.  You should daven for them to grow into Lomdei Torah, Tzaddikim, and Ba'alei Middos.  You should have intense Kavana for this when saying Birchas HaTorah every morning, as well as by the bracha of Ahava Rabba, and also in U'Va L'Tziyon by the words "Lo Niga Larik V'Lo Neileid LaBehala".

Speech - A parent must be exceedingly careful not to speak about inappropriate things in front of his child.  Even though it is never advisable, certainly one should be extra cautious when a his child is present.  You should also highly praise the good actions of others before your child so that the child will understand what is valued in your eyes and will do the same in order to gain your favor.

Mussar - A father must always reproach his child's bad behavior.  However if the father is not always around then it is incumbent on the mother to do so, despite that women are softer by nature.  A women is obligated to reproach her child just like a man is.  A Remez for this is the pasuk in Eicha (4:10) "Yidei Nashim Rachmanios Bishlu Yaldeihem", the hand of the compassionate mother (which refuses to hit her wayward child), is responsible for "cooking" the child and essentially killing his neshama.

Benefits - Raise your child well because he can save you from Gehinom and lead you to Gan Eden with his torah and mitzvos.  The Seforim Hakedoshim say, "Bra Mizakeh Abba" a son merits his father.  By not raising him properly you are in double trouble.  Firstly he will not save you from Gehinom and secondly you cannot save him in Olam Haba just like Avrohom couldn't save Yishmael and Yitzchok could not save Eisav.  The only place a father can bail out his child is in Olam HaZeh with his material wealth.

Middos - A person must instill good middos in his child from his youth.  He must stop the child from swearing, cursing, anger, cruelty, haughtiness, arrogance and stubbornness, jealousy, hatred, lust, leitzanus, and lashon hara.

So say your tefilos today but don't forget about the above, or else the Shela does not give any guarantees.
RELATED ARTICLES:children  Chodesh Sivan  Shela HaKadosh  tefila  Yom Kippur Katan

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