Section: Avodah Category: Shmoneh Esrei
|Part 19 Shmoneh Esrei: Ritzei - Make Sure You Are A Pure Korban|
|You should be Moser and devote yourself to the service of Hashem (give yourself over completely, which is the ultimate test - i.e. completely nullifying your will to His will), and you should see yourself as if you are bound on the Mizbei'ach and the fire of the mizbei'ach burns on you and behold you go up completely as a Korban Olah. You should desire very much to die "Al Kiddush Hashem", and give over all of yourself completely to Hashem. Because to be fit for the Mizbei'ach, it is necessary that there should not be in you any blemish. And if you sinned with some limb, behold, it is a blemish and it will not be accepted.
Before the offering of a korban it is necessary to do teshuva and therefore during all the seder of berachos and Tefila before this, you must fix yourself with teshuva in order that there will not appear in you a blemish, and as it says "when you offer a blind, crippled, stolen or sick, sick of the soul (through sin) will it be favorable to Hashem?" But when you are moser yourself Al Kedushas Hashem behold there is no blemish, because all his sins have been removed. Therefore, you should desire to be killed Al Kedushas Hashem.
You should daven very much to Hashem that He will return the Avodas Bais HaMikdash in its place because then there will be a rectification of the world. How sweet it will be for us to eat and drink from a korban of which it is written "a pleasant fragrance to Hashem" (Vayikra 1:13). Hashem has enjoyment (Kviyachol) from the korban and now it has been lost from Him. How can we sleep and not lie on the ground in silence for our cherished treasure (the Bais HaMikdash), and for this our heart is mournful on Har Tzion that over it foxes have trodden and the Avoda has stopped. With a broken heart you should daven that the Avoda should return to Yerushalayim because it is the ultimate shleimus (perfection).
This is a short, practical version of Ya'aros Devash 1:1 which Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe zt"l condensed in Alei Shur pg.123. The original contains all kinds of fascinating mystical insights. The interested reader is referred to Ya'aros Devash 1:1, starting about half-way through.