Noda BiYehuda: A Wife Giving Tzedaka Behind Her Stingy Husband's Back
The Noda BiYehuda was asked (YD 2:158) if a woman knows her husband does not give as much tzedaka as he should and she runs the finances of the house and she gives a donation in line with his wealth that he would not be please with, may the recipient accept it?
Chas V'Shalom to accept it paskened the Noda BiYehuda, as it is pure theft. Although Bais Din can force a person to give the amount of Tzedaka appropriate for his wealth, who made her the judge, asks the Noda BiYehuda? Furthermore even Bais Din notifies him and takes it against his will, but if they took it without him knowing they too would be guilty of theft.
Even if the women is pregnant and wants to give generously to the poor so that they will daven for her it is assur. This is also called a tzadaka expenditure and not a medical expense. If everyone in the family has this minhag then he is obligated to let her do it as well, but again here she must at least inform him.
Whoever pasken otherwise, says the Noda BiYehuda, is strengthening the hand of the sinners and no argument can justify this nonsensical opinion.
Important Note: We bring this tshuvah as a starting point for discussion and not to convey any halacha. We try to convey the Tshuva to the best of our ability. We admit that our understanding may not be accurate. One should learn the tshuva to verify the accuracy of our interpretation. Please understand that this Tshuva may not be the final word on this topic. One should consult a Rav before drawing any conclusions.