There are times during a
Shidduch when less than the whole truth about the boy is relayed to the
girls side. Sometimes he is not as big a learner as he is made out to
be, or maybe he has other clear shortcomings. The halachos of when you
may tell the other side is fraught with complications and this should
be done only after consulting with a Halachic authority.
One
thing interesting that the Chofetz Chaim says (Hilchos Rechilus Tziur
3) that is worth knowing. You can't look at the situation from one
side only. It is very possible that the other side also has their own
little secrets that not everyone knows. In that case it is forbidden
to tell them anything, because now it is a perfect match!
"Zachor Eis Asher Asa Hashem L'Miriam BaDerech B'Tzaischem MiMitzrayim"
The Ramban and other Rishonim count, among the Mitzvos Aseh Min
HaTorah, the mitzva of remembering and saying with your mouth each day
what Hashem did to Miriam when she spoke about her brother Moshe. The
Chofetz Chaim in Shaar Tvunah Perek 12 says that being Mikayem this
mitzva can save you from the aveira of Lashon Hara. More than just
saying the pasuk, says the Chofetz Chaim, one must think about the
incident in order for it to have its intended effect.
Listen to our Shemiras HaLashon Yomi in our audio section. Two
halachos a day according to the Luach. www.revach.net/audioarchives.php
printable version
