Parshas Toldos: Rav Pam - Strength From Mommy's Effort's
Destiny had it that Yaakov was supposed to receive the Brachos. Why did it have to come about in such a roundabout and dangerous way? Why did it need to involve Rivka potentially sacrificing her marriage and her life to make sure the Brachos found their way to its rightful owner?
Rav Avrohom Pam answers that from the day Yaakov received the Brachos he knew nothing but Tzaros. First he was attacked by Eliphaz. Then he, the Ish Emes, was forced to live and deal with the world's all time greatest liar Lavan for so many difficult years. Then there was his homecoming by his not so brotherly brother. Then Dina, then Rochel, then Yosef...
Rav Pam asks how was Yaakov able to overcome all these heartbreaking and faith testing obstacles? He brings the Medrash that says that Yaakov always felt that if he gave up and gave in to despair he would forfeit all the blood and tears his mother gave in order for him to get the Brachos. His mother's pain is what stopped him from losing faith.
When Rav Shmuel Vosner shlit"a was asked if it is true that his mother gave up a career as an opera singer after a Rebbe promised her that if she does so she will be blessed with a child that will be even more famous in the Jewish world, he said, "I never heard it from her mouth, but my mother always pushed me to learn, saying that I have no idea what she gave up for me!"
Children may seem unappreciative, but they only "seem" that way. They are extremely smart and can tell what sacrifices, and how much effort, you put into them for their own benefit and what effort you devote self servingly, trying to live out your fantasies through them without real consideration for their best interest.
If you truly sacrifice for your child, he will always hold on to your sweat and tears as a wonderful security blanket through the trials and tribulations in life. Even in the darkest moments when life seems too hard to overcome, what he won't do for himself he will always do for Mommy!
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