When Our Children Return How Quick Do We Accept Them?
If a farm animal gives birth on Yom Tov and the mother takes no interest in the newborn offspring, the gemara (Shabbos 128b) says that we can take pity on this newborn and take specific steps to get the mother to pity and care for her offspring. The gemara says that this only applies to a kosher animal and not to a non-kosher animal. Why not? The gemara says that non-kosher animals pity their offspring and do not cast them away. However once they do cast them away, they never accept them back again. A kosher animal will more easily cast its child away but is willing to take it back with a little encouragement from the side.
Maybe, b'derech drush, we can draw a parallel between this and a kosher parent and non-kosher parent. A kosher parent cares deeply about their child. However the parent has a definite non-negotiable framework for what is acceptable and what is not. A parent wants to raise Yirei Shamayim and that is the reason for the parent's efforts. If a child crosses the line the parent may ignore their own feelings and cast their child aside as a failure. A non-kosher parent knows only of love to their child and a relationship with Hashem does not come into the equation. As the child veers from the path of acceptability, the parent, because of feelings for their child will move the red line to adopt to the child's behavior and rarely will ever get to the breaking point unless it becomes too much for the parent to bear personally.
When a parent does cut the cord and castaway the child, it is the kosher parent that will always leave the door open. After all the schism was not for personal reasons. When the child retreats a few steps backwards and comes back, the kosher parent will be waiting with open arms. With a non-kosher parent, once the line is crossed, it is crossed forever. It is personal and no remorse or reform can remove the incredible pain that the child inflicted on their parent.
The joyous day, the "Yom Tov" that the child comes back, will determine whether we were kosher parents and truly gave the best chinuch we could, or we were non-kosher parents, and did everything only for ourselves.
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