The Tomer Devora says that on Shabbos it is forbidden to display any anger whatsoever. During the week, for Chinuch purposes, there are time that you may show an angry face. "Shabbat Shalom" says Rav Pincus was not a term coined by the creators of modern Hebrew, but has its roots in Chazal (see Shabbos 12b).
Yet on Shabbos there is often extra friction in the house, explained by a Balabus to Rav Shimshon Pincus as follows. "During the week I am at work and my wife is out of the house. We meet only on Shabbos and that's when the fighting starts." Why is Sholom so important on Shabbos and how do achieve it?
Rav Shimshon explains that both the husband and wife are independent people from distinct upbringings with their own ideas of how things should be done. It is perfectly natural that when they join together to create a new home, a power struggle begins and dominates life in the new joint home. However when the husband and wife are guests at someone else's house, they are in harmony. Neither of them call the shots and therefore they remain husband and wife in unity, as they both concede their power to rule, to their host.
On Shabbos, Hashem comes to our homes. Each one of us must feel like we lose our identities and submit to the will of our important guest. If we truly feel Shabbos then there will be no fighting in the home and we will be on our best behavior before Hashem.
The same can be said for the rest of the week. Each home can be a Mikdash Mi'at, if we keep it in a way that Hashem feel comfortable resting his Shechina in our home. If we keep a home like that and feel it, both us and our spouses can feel comfortable being there together more often, and living in perfect harmony.
| 
printable version
