Section:  Avodah   Category: Bnei Bayscha
Rav Chaim Kanievsky - Before You Can Build A House
A young lady learning in a seminary in Bnei Brak once came to the house of Rav Chaim Kanivesky for advice for herself and for her entire class.  The girls in the class had gradually realized that something strange was happening with their class.  Despite the fact that the girls were all of marriageable age and had long since started dating, not one of the girls from the class had become engaged.  The girls’ friends from different classes or schools were beginning to marry and establish homes, but their class seemed to be stuck.  The girls wanted to know what Rav Chaim's opinion was on this, and what he advised them to do.

Rav Chaim said that since this phenomenon was affecting the entire class then it must have been a “group sin” and it was necessary for the class to contemplate what the sin was.  He said that the two possibilities were that they insulted either a teacher or one of their peers.

The girl consulted with her classmates, and after discussing the issue, they reached the conclusion that they had not insulted any of their teachers, but it was very likely that they had hurt one of their peers.

One of their peers had an awkward appearance, and it was possible that the girls had treated her differently due to her appearance.  No one had deliberately hurt her, but it seemed that her feelings had been hurt.  The girls of the class sent a messenger to her with a request that she forgive them.  However, to their surprise, the girl sent back a message that she does not forgive them!

The girls in the class realized that she had been seriously hurt, and the entire class decided to go to her house to appease her.  While they were there, they promised her that they would personally become involved in finding her a suitable shidduch.  A father of one of the girls also promised to pay the girl’s shadchunus fee up to a thousand dollars.

The girl was impressed by the girls’ effort and sincere teshuvah, and forgave them with a complete heart.  Two weeks later, four of the girls were on their way to becoming engaged!    (Barchi Nafshi)