Section: Halacha   Category: Tshuvos
Shevet HaKehosi: If You and Your Wife Are Having Shabbos Meal At Someone's Home...

The Shulchan Aruch says (YD 195:13) that man is not allowed to send his wife a glass of wine while she is a Niddah, even a Kos Shel Bracha from Kiddush or Birchas HaMazon.  What do you do if you are guests at someone else's table and they give you two glasses of wine from Kiddush, one for you and one to pass to your wife? 
The Shevet HaKehosi (5:167) says that in this case it would be permissible provided that you wife heard the Baal HaBayis ask you to pass it.  If she didn't you should let her know that you did it upon his request.  The reason is that in this case you are not doing something from your own initiative that will bring you closer to your wife.  You are merely acting as a Shaliach of the Baal HaBayis.
When passing it to her you must put it down before her with a Shinui (e.g. with your left hand), an unnatural way because when your wife is a Niddah not only is it assur to hand something to her, it is also assur for either of them to serve each other food or drink (even without a handoff) without a Shinui.
With regard to the Baal HaBayis sending wine to an Eishes Ish, there is no problem since her husband is present.
Important Note: We try to convey the Tshuva to the best of our ability. We admit that our understanding may not be accurate. Please also understand that this Tshuva may not be the final word on this topic. One should consult a Rav before drawing any conclusions.

This article has not been reviewed by the posek of the AskRevach section, Rav Peretz Moncharsh.  Any questions regarding this topic and Halacha L'Maaseh may be asked to him at