http://revach.net/article.php?id=1625

Section: Halacha   Category: Tshuvos
Noda b'Yehudah - How And When To Take Tzedaka From a Married Woman

The Shulchan Aruch (Yoreh Deah 248:4) says that it is permitted to take a small amount of Tzedakah from a woman but if her husband protests it is forbidden to take anything from her. The Noda B'Yehuda says if a person who is very wealthy is not giving the requisite amount of Tzedakah for a person of his means, it is forbidden for the wife to try to make up for her husband's stinginess and give money on her own volition to Tzedakah.

Even if the wife is running the finances in the house it is forbidden for her to give Tzedakah if she knows that her husband is Makpid. If she does give Tzedakah it is forbidden to take the money from her. Even though Bais Din may force someone to give Tzedakah according to his means however the wife does not have the authority to do so on her own and anyone who takes money from her is stealing.

The Yad Avrohom (YD 248) brings from the Yam Shel Shlomo who seems to indicate that if the woman makes the financial decisions in the home then it is as if her husband made her a Shlucha and accepting from her even large donations is permitted.

Important Note: We try to convey the Tshuva to the best of our ability. We admit that our understanding may not be accurate. Please also understand that this Tshuva may not be the final word on this topic. One should consult a Rav before drawing any conclusions.